December 23, 2014
I used to think people that measured their value in terms of USD or other, were surface and sometimes selfish. That kind of thinking came from growing up in an atmosphere which promoted generosity and giving without balancing it out in terms of value and self-esteem….let me explain.
For 14 years I ran and managed a nonprofit company. I did not pay myself for two reasons. It was a great tax break for my husband and I didn’t want anyone to think I would ever wrongfully use the company to self serve financially. I was also very aware that many of our clients were poor church mouse type. Songwriters generally do not make a lot of income with their music. However, we had a new experience not too long ago. You see, after so many years of building credibility and administering our music to PRO’s,(CCLI & ASCAP etc) our songwriters began to generate income. That’s when I asked myself, how come I am not doing this for myself?
The fact that I felt upset that others (whom I had promoted) were receiving income, but I was not, caused me to rethink my value system. I began to understand that part of the reason I would not pay myself came from growing up in an atmosphere that devalued women and even physically and verbally abused our psyche. I realized that I had to change and it must start with how I think of myself.
I revamped my publishing company. I now pay myself first. I am a for profit company. My first royalty check for 2014 is due very soon and I’m excited because it will be the largest check we have seen….over $2000 for a six month period. This past few years I’ve had a real eye opening experience. Instead of being embarrassed that I’m behind, I choose to be a forward thinking person and I’m trying to regroup, knowing that I am after all, an intelligent woman otherwise I would not have figured out how to get royalties for all of us poor little songwriters…
I am pleased to be a part of the WE group and see so many women supporting and verbally encouraging each other. I have needed that in my life and I hope to be that for others. Thanks ladies for all you are doing for We and for each other!